I don’t usually get to personal here but since I started my blog focusing on health and fitness I feel obligated to talk about this issue I’ve been having. I talked a little bit about my back injury and how I’ve had little success correcting it. It’s affecting me physically but also mentally.
Last year I got in the best shape of my life by attending work out classes 4 times a week. I never worried about what I ate on the weekends because it was my cheat day. I busted my ass the four days at workout so it never stressed me out. When I started having problems with my back, I started having anxiety about not working out and gaining back weight I had lost,losing all my hard work that I did last year. Since December I haven’t been able to work out like I’ve wanted to. And I definitely can’t do any running. I’ve been attempting to ride my bike but it’s painful.
Last year I based my happiness around working out and feeling good about myself and eating healthy. Now it’s like all that has been taken away from me and I have no way to let out stress and feel good about myself. I am constantly critical of what I eat now that I feel like I can’t control it with workouts. I’ve been trying different styles of eating like Paleo and Whole 30 and even though I eat mostly good stuff I beat myself up when I cheat. Sometimes I’ll push myself too far with trying to be active, and it hurts my back even more. It’s a vicious cycle that is making me extremely unhappy.
Me before all this happened.
I really need to snap out of it and find ways to make myself happy and not think about food or exercise. I just need a different mindset to look at life everyday, in terms of not what I can’t do, but what I can do. I need to find other things to keep my occupied in the evening besides workout and cooking dinner, because it’s becoming depressing to constantly think about food and exercise that I can’t do. I decided to plan something non-food related and non-traditional exercise related to do every night of this week. Something to look forward to besides my usual “gym and dinner” routine. It’s hard. This was what made me happy for the past six months. But I’m really trying to look past it and change. The more I stress out about this, the more I won’t be able to maintain my weight because it’s too much stress. I figure as long as I’m happy and still relatively active I have nothing to worry about.
Need to be happier- like this!!
Monday- I went to the park and wrote before swimming.
Tuesday- Do a wedding craft with Austin, and this- blogging
Wednesday- Swimming and finishing the book I’m reading
Thursday- Pilates and a walk if I feel up to it
Friday- Going home!
Sat- Bridal Shower
Most of the things are still fitness related because I feel like I need to get SOME movement. I have a really hard time not working out on a weekday. I feel incredible guilt but I know it’s stupid. That’s why I should prob cut down on reading so many blogs of girls who run and do cross fit, but I enjoy reading blogs! I try not to compare myself because everyone’s different.
Wow this was pretty personal but it feels good to write about it. The more I write about strategies to make myself happy the better I feel.
Tell me I’m not alone in this…do any of you feel guilt after not working out for a day?